FUCK i was washing dishes and my fone died im so pissed

I'm halfway wasted so this isn't going to be too random or weird.  Okay so I don't know where my life is going.  Lately I've been sleeping outside and thinking that I can hustle money to catch a train and be gone.  I really love San Francisco but I can't afford rent.  Enforcement can't crack down on every person they see in the street.  I don't know.  I'm only 21 years old, and I'm lost already.  I've been lost since I was 13, when I was secluded on an island and was tormented by my sister and was anorexic.  I've never had a clue in my life.  I might be smart but I haven't got a clue.  I have to reach for something better!

I could have woken up, ate half the subway sandwich, got drunk, ate the rest later, drink more and go to tiffany's, but NOOO, I stayed inside all fucking day like a loser.

I don't know how I feel right now.  Real shitty

You know how Jennifer Connelly has that scene in Requiem where she's double penetrating another chick with a large dildo in some seedy black guy's house?  Well like, how does she live that down?  Look back on the decision to film that with pride?  I dunno, if I ever am being penetrated pussy to pussy with another female, I will have sunk to a level so low that I could not even type out my shame without fear of spewing on the keyboard.  Seriously though.

I feel like such a  douchebag.